I watched you change
Into an Angel
I looked away
Only to find you were not what I imagined
I watched a cloud
fade into you
It’s like you never
I know you fell
Just for me
I watched you change
I took you home
set you in my glass jar
I pulled off your wings
Then I smiled
I watched you grow
It’s like you never
had those wings
Though you fell
So very hard
I watched you change
like you never lived before
Now I have wings
An Angel without a cross
I look away
As I gave you the gun
You blow me away
I watched you fly
as I sat down to cry
It’s like you never
Knew how much I cared
You lost your wings
As you fell
Into my jar
I watched you change
Into black wings
I know you fell just for me
I watched it all from my cloud
It’s like you never
fell at all.
Today I woke with a sore throat and of course headache, I wish there would be a day when I will wake up without pain. I’ve had a migraine for three weeks or longer I ended up in the hospital about two weeks ago, the Doctors don’t know what to say. Though they know I have ocular migraines that’s caused by genetics, and there’s no cure or reasons I should have them. I also finally found a Doctor who listened to me about pain management but said its Medical that’s my problem. Medical denied me four times my request to get pain management, which is not helping me in the long run. I might be strong but there is a limit to what I can take without screaming. I just wish I could make my head stop hurting longer than a few minutes. I am trying to stay positive about this.
My mom is fighting cancer in her bones. We are praying for her I hope you will do the same. My mom and her friends Janie and Joni are at the beach, they wanted to take her away from her cancer bed to make things more positive. Pismo Beach will do that plus Pismo is her favorite place in the world. I grew up on beach trips and sea food, thanks to my multi cultured mom. I love her very much.
What’s right is what’s left if everything else you do is wrong. I’ll raise my left hand to this so my right hand can be the one I raise if I’m wrong. That’s reverse psychiatry by Amanda Shelton. My right hand is up.
Our perception and the events in our lives make us who we are.
We have a choice to react negatively or not at all to life’s events.
We also have a choice to believe that we can change those events by changing our perception of those events.
Its all in the way we think about it and how we present it to others that makes the difference.
Yesterday was not a very good day for me my medication gave me a bad tip. One thing I hate the most is not having control over my own thoughts or my reality as for yesterday that was my whole issue. I fought delusions and hallucinations for years but recently that’s all gone away until yesterday. I think what’s worst for me is I know if I’m not right in my head, though I try to fight or if its to much I ask for help. I did just that and thanks to my family and support team, my in home worker came to my rescue. I decided to stop taking one of my pain meds that caused my issues yesterday. I would rather live with my chronic pain then lose touch with my reality. Just goes to tell you that not all medications work for everyone.
Love me like the mountains love the rain.
Cry me a river,
Of a lover’s tears let me wipe away all your salty fears.
Let them drizzle down my windows pain,
My heart is filled with all your sufferings, and shame.
Like a river my life flows down your hills of grain,
Overflowing into tomorrow’s horizon,
As my sun sets beyond today’s footfalls,
And your moon falls into my future orbit.
I am the astronaut flying to your moon,
My footprints are lift on its dusty suffuse.
My heart was lost there,
out in the blackness of the unknown,
Floating, gloating, surfing the stars,
with my star cross lover.
Cry me a river of unforgivable love,
Show me your eyes full of tears
Full of poetry, and a lover’s passion,
and all their fears.
Love me like the moon loves the stars.
Cry me a river, of falling stars
I’ll catch them in my bucket,
so I can wish upon them years to come.
Cry me a river.
Checkout My Poem Hunter Profile >>
The King of hearts ♥
Knows only lies for his kisses sting like a bee,
and his love is never true. This is sad but true.
so be mindful when drawing your cards,
for love can burn and love can hurt only if you let it in.
I know I haven’t been posting for a while, I was working on my other blog. This weekend I ended up hanging at my mom’s house, I will be going to sleep over every three weeks so my mom can know I’m okay awhile she goes to chemo. She got cancer after a lunge biopsy, she started getting sick and pain started in her hip and legs, a month later they diagnosed her with stage four lunge cancer. We are staying positive and faithful as she goes through this. The Doctors say to survive cancer it all as to do with the person’s state of mind and care some people live with cancers for twenty years others live five we don’t know really. Plus everyone response differently to treatment. My mom has had one treatment so far and she is doing very well. She only had dizziness and vomiting for one night, now she’s feeling very well. They gave her a lot of pain medication very heavy medications that she will need to take for the rest of her life.
I am just thankful my mom is a strong person and that she’s a fighter. We My mom bother and I have been through a lot to get to where we are today, my mom’s cancer is just another journey we will have to walk. How I say it bring it on the more the better!
“I believed I could so I did.”
“Believing in yourself can make it possible.”
“Believe in you!”
“I will share my grabs of happiness with you all and our table shall be full of laughter”
“These are my grabs of happiness may they grow well and prosper within our lives not on one vine but many connected together by one root.”
“Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is happiness in life.”
To the viewer:
“To see beauty in the dark you need to believe beauty was already there to let in the light. We also need to do the same with life, to find happiness in life we need to believe it was already happy before we got here, and to do our best to teach others the same, by presenting them with happiness. Not through money, or greed but through love, and charity.”
“So when you have found happiness don’t forget to teach others through your good deeds, and loving nature, that happiness is in the eye of the beholder.”
The sunrises, as morning breathe sighs with relief
the night sheds its gleam
a shimmer has been seen
a glassy reflection
a tear from morning sunlight
as the beam of moonlight begins to dim
a cup of stars to end the night
This is a rare moment in time
when a dew drop is born it has only a nick of time
it’s life never lasts but for one breath and then it die’s
leaving nothing but a shine and sometimes a stain
though it will be back to take another breath
when moonlit stars begin to dim
and sunlight beams in the sky
these are the times
when the morning steals the spotlight
These eye’s of mine I see you and I
my lips trimmer to think you are so close
what passions you make to rise up inside my soul
as I leap with joy from your touch.
An emotional rush
like a roller coaster going up hill I wait for the time when the tracks end
and you and I will be here once more and forevermore.
Just as is our love is to last.
Ces yeux des miens, je vous vois et je
mes lèvres fraise de penser que vous êtes si proche
que les passions que vous apportez à la hausse à l’intérieur de mon âme
comme JE leap avec joie de votre touch.
Un rush émotionnel
comme un roller coaster en montant une pente je attendre pour le moment où les pistes fin
et vous et je vais être ici une fois de plus et irrépréhensibles.
Tout comme notre amour est au dernier.
Welcome to Personality 101,
I hope you’r visit is pleasant. There is more I learned but I will start with this for now.
Bienvenue à la personnalité 101,
j’espère que vous’r visite est agréable. Il n’y a plus J’ai appris, mais je vais commencer avec ce que maintenant.
A smile, a rosy kiss on my cheek
I blush to see such beauty before me
a rose blooms just for me.
Such soft petals you have and a sent so sweet
it makes the honey bees weep.
Our love means more too me than any kiss.
As summers air blows on your surf making waves on your shore,
as us two lovers walk blooming as roses do in love
and passions to rise,
leaving such tidings as these to bear
with hands so soft and wanting to carry me off into the sunset.
We melt into the beams of light as the ocean drinks from our feet.
Our hearts are one forevermore as the sun will always set on us
Read More >>>> Poem Hunter / “A Summer Kiss” © By Amanda Shelton
Let me not judge you but except you for who you are because I would want you to do the same for me.
Believing everything is possible, makes everything possible for when we think something is possible we will take the steps to make it possible.
I felt I needed to vent abet about my guy issues
Why do I do this to myself? I know I’m pretty,smart,and nice I also know I’m worthy of a men who is stable in life and relationships.
I have not meet one man who couldn’t share his true feelings with without showing discomfort. I don’t know where people get that it’s not okay for a guy to show his emotions when we are human we all have emotions. What I have learned from growing up with a brother is this.
This is just my experience when it comes to guys I do know not every guy is like this, but it’s hard for me to find one.
You can give a men a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and he can feed himself for a life time.
What would you take? One fish or catch them yourself and get unlimited fish?
I have enough to deal with in my life I don’t need an unstable guy to mess it up. I’ve gone through a big journey in my life to get to the point I am today. Brains surgery, getting better from my mental illness, getting a cat [Sassy Pooh], moving into my own place, and much more… I’m not sure on how to go about finding the right guy but I guess being patient is my key for now.
Mending a broken heart is the easy part but picking up the pieces is where all the hard work takes places.
These are Love Bites I had the idea to do these graphics from how many times love has passed me by and I let it bite me in the butt. OUCH! But I never give up on true love. I know it’s out there because why would someone fall in love more than once if it didn’t exist? I just need to show patient and let it come to me.
Please do not steal my work but requesting a graphic is okay. I will be posting more of these in the future.
Broken and shattered a heart laying in its own dust,
thou aren’t so easy to mend – cry or cry not for this broken and battered thing.
Is there glue strong enough to mend this dead thing,
to bring together pieces of my heart that once bloomed like a rose?
I think not.
Though maybe still, a love will come and pick up my pieces.
My rose will bloom red and full of life,
and your lips will be mine leaving my heart whole once again.
When you know you need the light and you see it burning bright,
you know it will flicker out leaving embers to fly.
You leave these lips so lonely,
and these checks are left to the cold.
When live flickers out and snuffed out by the cold,
and hearts are left shattered beyond repair.
The flame is still burning for anyone who care.
I’m left to pick up the pieces.
I’m left with all these pieces.
Falling and at my dismay I can’t fix all of this dis-ray.
To you – I leap into your arms wanting and waiting for your kiss’s to take me off into the blissful sunset.
Show me you’re the one
my soul will leap and your lips will be mine,
like a rose I picked from the vine.
Such sweetness those lips are mine,
with nectar of passion dripping from thorns of loss.
I weep to know your love is mine.
Bleeding my rust life takes all of me,
but with kiss’s so sweet
such passions make my heart to leap
and my lips are waiting for yours to return to me.
This train is rocking on shores of your
leading me to the waters edge
and there you stand waiting for my hand.
I knew you would be mine sooner than never.
As life goes by waving to us.
I’m leaving on a train heading nowhere fast
traveling on a broken track.
Someday I’ll be coming back to this place a came from.
When the tracks change direction
and life’s wind blows me in the right direction. (to you)
These moments are to be unforgettable
lyrics of life are strummed like strings on a fiddle.
My ballerina dances for me
Her silhouette dances with no regrets
black upon the background of the glow of the moon
she was like an Angel
as she curtsy’s
on a dusty platoon
rising like the dust
fulling like the rain
My ballerina danced
the dance of moonlight sauna.
A rose once grow here,
now nothing remains
but roots and veins
bleeding and left
for the wind.
My rose is nothing
but dust in the wind
I loved My rose
My Rose ©By Amanda Shelton
I’m writing I’m writing O my I’m writing again. I have been away for a while but I ma back to posting on this blog. I have checked in once and a great while but no real posts. I’ve been busy doing my website things and putting together a website that I have wanted to do for a long time now. The idea for Gothic Reflections was an idea I had years back when I was just starting out with building forums and creating backgrounds for fun. Now my idea has come to life here is the link Gothic Reflections. If you love poetry, literature, and art Gothic Reflections is the place for you.
I have been working on this idea for awhile now, but I finally did it welcome to Gothic Reflections a network for Gothic Literature, the Gothic Subculture and a Goth Chat Room. But all are welcome not just Goth’s or dark minded people. Members at Gothic Reflections share a passion for poetry, and Literature.
A rose as died and a seed is born
from the fallen paddles.
From a dew drop
and paddles like velvet
a reflection is born
Welcome to Gothic Reflections.
A star shall shine on the hour of our meeting
It has been too long
that My heart has sung to see thee
May the leaves of your life tree never turn brown
May the wind fill your sails
May thy paths be green and the breeze on thy back
and let thy senses guide thee to Me
I’m thy beckon a light to guide thee
from the dark places
where shadow play and souls are blackened
bleeding ink from a Ravens quill
Shine for me!
Thy star is never far behind thee
it shines like no other will
Forevermore thy heart is full
it shines like a star for Me
Thy heart is a guiding light to show a path
a safe haven for thee
Thine own heart is such a thing
a bleeding wounded thing
but thy beckon shines still
leaving this blackened soul
to fend for itself
A beckon of love
shines through the blackest of hearts
My eyes can see right through
pin holes in thy broken heart
Amin mela lle
Graphic The Elven Phrase I Love You ©By Amanda Shelton
Here’s a link to Elven phrases
can you feel me?
Am I coming in loud and clear?
Is this not a static free zone?
Here I am feeling nothing but like a stone.
The air is so cold,
the chill has made me numb.
It’s a welcomed feeling,
I’m so comfortably numb.
Nothing but the warmth of fever
burning from within my heart,
keeps all from falling apart.
I’m so comfortably numb
setting in the dark
waiting for my drummer boy
to strum, strum, strum
on my strings.
My heart bleeds but no pain I feel for
I’m comfortably numb.
A Dark Poem Comfortably Numb ©By Amanda Shelton
This not how I feel it is just a poem I wrought. I write dark poetry better than I do any other types of poetry and this is one of those poems.
Creepy Girl Productions Dark Poems By Amanda Shelton coming soon to a blog near you…
To have a healthy relationship you need to know what a healthy relationship is first. Relationships are a lot of work it’s not just hangout time with the one you love. You need to understand what your partner wants and needs are. To make both of you comfortable not just yourself or them. Also to understand you need space just as much as the other person does. Saying no, If you say NO! it means NO! if they say NO! it means NO!.
Does he/she not give you space when you need it? Does he/she tell you what to watch on TV or how your home is not up to par? Does he/she asked for more even after you said no? Does he/she try to argue instead of sharing their opinion? Does he/she say or react as if it’s your fault if they are upset about a situation? Does he/she say you want to much from them when you give more than you get back?
These are all signs you’re not in a healthy relationship, also an abusive relationship.
I have learned my gut feelings are more right then my emotional or my logical responses. I call this my six scenes or spidey scenes. If you feel uncomfortable or you have a need to ask is this for me questions, then you should not be in the situation or relationship. Follow your spidey scenes.
Let me be like a soft silky cloth at your feet.
Fly my heart has done for thy.
don’t let this time still me from you,
such hearts are these that fly like stars.
A thread of lovers stringed together
You are a stream of light that across my sky’s.
Oh what passions rise
my breath is lost so easily.
We are of love
rocking on shores of life.
Our lovers foot prints left from times that pasted
a time of passion and none to be.
Love takes all of me
a kiss is given on cheeks so cold
from lips so warm there is no cold chill left.
till I pass in your arms
and let me love thy till the end of me.
Lay me down on a bed of roses,
with thorny stems and blushing bushes.
Lovely roses for all to see,
blushing, crisp, and falling out of season; love them for all time.
Roses keep fresh with water, dirt, stems, and stock.
keep them freshly trimmed throughout the seasons.
Roses blush with pink and yellow,
stems are green and roots are killer.
Lovely roses with kiss’ so sweet
but thorns will prick soft lips of maidens
as lovers lay in their thorny beds.
Lovely roses are they so sweet?
Kissing crimson leaving bloody feet.
But those lovely roses smell so sweet.
I carry you within my heart
leaving nothing behind
a heart beat
every breath of me
I carry your heart within me
with every step I take
with every breath I make
I hold you so tightly
so not to lose or break you
I carry you within my heart
in the depths of the crack
from past lovers
my heart sack
With key and locket
I hold on
I know I lack
a heart to love
a heart to carry you
a heart to hold
a heart to care for you
Oh how I feel for you
in this love affair of just one
Never fall in love with a poet
their words have everything to gain
they will make you feel their pain
Passions are to fly
as words begin to sight
Never fall in love with a poet
their take you words
making you feel
with ever breath taken and every word spoken
they whisper such lies
on paper and with pen
the ink will set in
Never fall in love with a poet
they no nothing but passionate tights
with waves of black ink
the sides of the paper
an ink smear a writers mark
Never fall in love with a poet
they will leave you with a mark
Let me love thy
be like a soft silky cloth at your feet
fly my heart has done for thy
don’t let this time steal me from you
such hearts are these that fly like stars
a thread of lovers stringed together
streams of light across my sky’s
oh what passions rise for thy
my breath is lost so easily
rocking on shores of yours
of lovers foot prints left from times that pasted
a time of passion and none to be
hearts know all of thy
a kiss is left on cheeks so cold
from lips of death
oh love me
till I pass in your eyes
let me love thy till the end of me
The spirit of love
has kissed me
my cheek still burns
oh how lonely my soul is
waiting for your falling grace
I love to watch your changing face
finding my passions
and like the rising mountains
clouds that set on tips of white
of drifts of snow
I have to know
do you love me
Oh woe’ I think I love thy
unlike you my heart fades not
instead it falls deeper in love
with one who may not
I made a power point presentation about my journey to finding sanity. You can download the document by clicking on this link My Road To Recovery.
I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
My tip for writers:
“Read, read, read then start writing.
Because to write you need to read even more.”
I can see my children in your eye’s.
I can see my rankle’s fading over time.
as my heart breaths life into our moments that we have together.
love is so blind,
kiss’s get deeper over time;
passions rise like the tights,
as rivers run deeper yet,
the waters never still,
as lovers rock on the waves of love.
We breath in the freshness of us.
With kiss’s still sweeter than ever
I know this is love
The son is bright
leaves are brown
weather is cool with sunshine on the ground
fall is falling
the seasons are of change
smells of cooking
laughter and cheer is in the air
givethanks to all
and a new year
a shadow of the past comes once a year
a thanks, a giving, a chill in the air
cool weather is ahead
fall is first
winter is last
summer has past
and spring didn’t last
We give thanks to cooler weather
as we all know it won’t last
cool weather is the best
as seasons change we all feel it’s sting
bring it on for all to sing
Give me a view a window to see into a darker way of life.
My muse, is a word to suit all other words… Gothic is beauty a style like no other with hats, lips stick, gloves, and hair. I’ll give it all for a Gothic stare.
MY REALITY BROKE… On entry. Tuning in on channel 2 for Scooby Doo, don’t forget to send a note as the music fades into the blue. Static on the TV form into a face that looks like Obama selling insure to all the old people. After that we see the world with antennas coming out of our ears., and cell phones are voice mail for ghosts. The static got coat on a wave of emotional upset as a sail boat floats by the window. POOF! Butterfly’s in my belly with wings of dust. Anxiety cased a stoke of genius and static on a stroke of a ribbon.
My brain pops and words pour out of every thought.
Tune in on channel static! We have static news, static drama, static reality show, static science, static documentary, static kiss me I’m a soap, and much more. Static will take over your front door. Knock, knock who’s there? SSSSStatic….
I thought about this post before I posted it. Even while I thought about it sounded odd and a bet weird. But that’s just me.
A ghostly presence is behind my chair
living where no one living dare.
Can you feel the standing of hairs?
A tingle behind your ear?
well that just means they are here.
Who needs ghost radar when you have a sense of where they are
it’s a bleep on the standing of a hair
a hairy ghost radar
a voice in your left ear.
Lets all haunt those who haunt us
before we go there.
Before our names end up on a stone standing for hundreds of years.
Maybe we are the ghosts living life not knowing where.
I live my life-like a Vampire with butterfly wings.
I now how to fly but I such the life out of anyone who tells me I can’t.
No way that’s not me! o_O*
Hay I do get bored, in my opinion only really smart people get bored.
Plus what if you had many talents so many you can’t choose which one you are really good at? Well that’s me as well I have many too many to choose just one. But I load my brain up with anything and everything I can. learning for me it’s a high. You can say I’m high off of learning about life. I know a lot a things if I don’t know something I will research it and find out everything I can about that one thing. Along the way I learn about other things too. I meet interesting people and personalities because of this.
I also resonantly found out my personality type is what I chose it to be. I change each day how my personality comes out. But I do have one personality type that comes out more than others.
My Personality Type
Extravert(44%) iNtuitive(75%) Feeling(25%) Judging(22%)
I have moderate preference of Extraversion over Introversion (44%)
I have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (75%)
I have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)
I have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (22%)
If you think about what this say’s about me I’m more likely an iNtuitive. I work with my intuition but I also my logic thinking. The two go good together I think. Plus my feeling of things are almost every time right on the button. I’m very aware of myself and my surrounding.